An Outing

I’m not proud of this fact, but sometimes (not often, but sometimes) I hide food from my children.

I don’t go to the extremes which some of you out there have gone to (I’m thinking of one of you in particular who admittedly almost DIED when CVS was out of your preferred type of M&M’s last week, and you were totally out at home and this trip to the store was you ONLY chance to buy them sans les enfants; so you settled for Reece’s Pieces…which are also tasty, but BTW contain no chocolate and therefore would never satisfy that chocolate monster which lives inside me. I mean you.)

But I have slightly digressed.

A few weeks ago, Kroger’s Friday Freebie was a box (a whole, full-sized box) of Bacon (Flavor) Ritz Crackers.

A whole box.

Of crackers.

For free.

Pause right here because I have to say that a few weeks ago, the Friday Freebie was a 12-pack of Lipton Iced tea 20oz bottles. And I gave all of that to the PBA. (Because I don't particularly care for iced tea...they don't need to know that; full disclosure is not necessary.)

Don't judge.

And we're back. I must confess that the crackers have a certain “je ne sais quoi” which gives a nod to bacon but it not “all-out bacon-flavor” (in my oh-so-humble opinion) but are still quite tasty.

Tasty enough to put them in a location still within the pantry (I’m not a psycho who hides food in other rooms of the house…you know who you are) but not necessarily in a place in which my off-spring would look.

Or see even by off-chance.

I submit for your perusal, a photo.

This is not submitted for you to criticize the amount of junk food in my pantry...it is only to see how OBVIOUS those crackers are...right down on the bottom. On the left. Duh.

Clearly within view, right? As an aside, pay no attention to the jar of Nutella with initials on the lid. I have no idea why my children would be somewhat territorial about their foods…

Ok, let’s be honest: I am this way mostly with chocolate….Nutella, Hershey’s chocolate spread, containers of chocolate icing, things of that sort. (Are we seeing a theme here? I love a theme!)

And apparently free boxes of crackers which smell like bacon.

So…I thought I was going to be in the clear. I mean, not get caught/have to share…when the boys asked (rather innocuously, I might add) one day, “Where are those cookies you bought?”

My heart paused when I realized that in a moment of poor judgment, I had carelessly put the cookies on the shelf next to the crackers.

Me: “Ummm…they’re on the bottom shelf…”

Fingers-crossed that they would not notice anything other than the cookies b/c that’s how these things usually go.

Two seconds later…

11yo: “Mom! BACON RITZ?!?” How long have you been keeping these from us?!?”

Me: Oh those? I’ve had those for a while…had you not noticed them?...

12yo: (opening the already-opened box) Well clearly you’ve had them for a while and have enjoyed them without us!

Me: Well, I can’t help it if I have food in the pantry that you don’t notice is there. And besides, they’re not that good…

11yo: What else are you hiding?!?

Me: Hiding? Why would you say I was “hiding” food from you? It’s not like I put them on a shelf out of your reach or in a different place altogether. Pfh…

Insert stink eye from both boys…as they stalk off, each with a sleeve of Bacon Ritz in hand.

In unrelated news, they have yet to find my Nutella stash...which is clearly in view...

Note: Lest you be concerned about my ability to hide things, this is a totally-staged photo. I am much better at keeping my stash out of sight...

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