Sunday, June 9, 2013

The Great Houdini (Of Sorts)

I must preface this post by saying: Jackie, you MAY not want to read this.

Just kidding…you can read away…you’ve already committed yourself.

Well, not in the way you might after you take care of Indy while we’re on vacation.

Again…kidding. Maybe.

I know you’re wondering what you’ve gotten yourself and your husband into. I am wondering as well because Indy performed a little trick yesterday.

But I wouldn’t exactly call him Houdini…he did have an unknowing assistant in the 11yo.

We went out to breakfast with my parents, and afterwards we delivered the desk I had posted on Craig’s List.

Yes, yes I know I said I didn’t deliver my Craig’s List items, but it was going to some friends from church who are using it in the new business adventure in which they are embarking.

They are opening up an Ella’s Frozen Yogurt shop. This link takes you to the current, original one, which is owned by some other friends. Also from our church.

I just wanted to put in a plug for the business too…it’s wonderful yogurt and the customer service is amazing.

Anyway…they needed a desk. I happened to have a desk...and a fabulous one at that. It was win-win, especially because we delivered it.

No, it’s not that we are just that kind…we needed to get it cleared out before vacation so we could get both cars inside the garage…we’d already taken it apart (by “we” I mean Mr. Always Random, as usual) and moved it into the garage…hence the need to remove it.

Bottom line: They were willing to take it yesterday.

Sue me for going back on my word about delivery. Well, actually please don’t because I don’t currently have gainful…or ungainful  (and I don’t even think that’s a word…my spellcheck has angrily underlined it with a red squiggly line) employment so I wouldn’t be able to pay you any way.

Maybe the judge would make me be your butler. (Anyone know the TV reference on that one?) I’ll tell you if I get at least five comments on this post…but it might be easier for you simply to Google it. It’s your choice.

Anyway…after we delivered the desk but before we went garage-saleing (yes I’m sure it’s a word…no need to Google it. Trust me this time. Spell-check must be mistaken.), we decided to pop by our house so I could use the potty. I had this distinct feeling that most total strangers were not going to welcome me and my full bladder into their homes, regardless of how desperate they were to make a buck. Please notice I did not use the work “irregardless”…want to know why? Because it’s not a word. Yes, I have undoubtedly pointed that out previously. And undoubtedly will do it again. It’s because it’s a grammar pet peeve of mine. Because if this blog is about anything, it’s about proper grammar. (Ah, grammar humor.)

Yes, I realize at the beginning of the above paragraph I also used a word which MAY also not be a word, but it’s my blog, it’s my prerogative.

Anywho (also not really a word)…we stopped by our house. As we were walking up the driveway, I could hear Indy barking inside. Not surprising…he does that. Often. You can tell by his large stature (all 15 pounds of him) that he would be quite the force to be reckoned with if someone ever tried to break in.

I’ve actually had people come to the door and be surprised by how small he is after they heard his bark.

Surprised by his size and the fact that his big, fluffy, girlie tail is wagging because he’s actually excited for visitors.

If only the robbers knew…

Actually, what would happen is that they would come in to rob us blind (followed closely by a dog begging for attention), only to discover that we have nothing of value to steal.

Maybe they would take the dog…

But yesterday, the bark sounded closer than it should have, based on his (supposed) proximity to the door.

And when I opened the door, there he was to greet me.

NOT in his cage.

Not in his cage at all.

However, upon close inspection of the cage, it was still fastened. Well, kind of.

Now let me explain…we borrowed this cage from my friend who’s keeping him while we are out of town. Unfortunately, her sweet dog passed away a few months ago but since they still had his cage, she mentioned giving it a try with Indy.

The only problem we’ve noticed is that for some reason we can’t get the cage door hooks latched. Well, we can kind of get the lower one, but not the top one at all. I’m sure that my friend will be able to fix it without trouble, as there’s probably something simple we’re failing to do.

Rookie mistake.

We’ve not been too worried about it because we slide the bottom one over and then use the leash (yes, we’re a little white trash like that…bail out now if you must) to tie the top part shut.

Well, apparently my 11yo couldn’t get either one fastened. And instead of using the leash to tie the door shut, he simply wove it in and out between the cage side and the door. Which would have been sufficient except that Indy was apparently pushing on the door.

Even though you probably understand what happened, I’m going to spell it out for you…because I can.  Imagine if you will: you set out to tie your shoe and get the laces all nice and snug against your foot but then simply didn’t tie the ends of the laces. When you start walking, the shoe is fine. But the more you walk, the more your foot pushes against the laces and the looser it gets. Eventually your foot pops out. Indy is the foot in this scenario…except your foot is not typically attempting an escape; it simply happens. But I’m sure you understand.

Anyway, Mr. Always Random and I didn’t know this was how the cage had been closed or we might have taken steps to remedy this.

Or maybe not…we were in the middle of loading the desk into the truck, so who’s really one to make assumptions here?

Regardless (not irregardless…remember?) Indy got out of the crate. Who knows how long it took him to figure out that the door could be pushed open.

Now, we still don’t know how he was able to squeeze his some-what portly little belly through the door (if he asks you about it, I did NOT just call him fat), especially because we know he was in the cage long enough to polish off his breakfast…so that’s 1-2 minutes at least.

The rest of the time (approximately three hours) he apparently had free-reign over the house. We would have loved to have employed the previously-discussed Nanny Cam on him at that point. My bet is that he was asleep on the couch…always a “no-no”.

And needless to say (though, again…I am saying it)…we did have a lesson with both members of the PBA on how to TIE the crate closed.

It’s the little things, really.

Have a fabulous day!

How could he possibly be so much trouble?

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