Solid, Liquid, or Gas?

So…this week, my 11yo and I have had the pleasure of playing a fun little game I like to call “Solid, Liquid or Gas?”

Interested? Here are the rules: someone in your house has to get the Norovirus (or something similar…the rules are loosey-goosey on that…pardon that pun) and be horribly ill for days, thereby necessitating that someone monitor his or her bathroom activities and keep a record (doesn’t have to be one written down…just in your head is fine) of what’s going on in there.

Every time the ill person exits the bathroom, you ask him, “Solid, liquid or gas?”

It’s lots of fun, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve monitored someone else’s bathroom habits.

Yes, my astute readership, as you’ve probably already guessed, my 11yo got sick on Sunday afternoon. Vomiting and diarrhea. And a fever. And headache.

He hasn’t had a fever since Tuesday morning.

He hasn’t thrown up since yesterday morning (and it wasn’t very much so I’m not really counting it. But he is). The last time before that was on Monday morning. That’s the time I am counting.

HORRID stomach cramps and diarrhea. Until Wednesday night…after the full allotment of Imodium pills to be taken in 24 hours…it finally stopped.

That is until Thursday afternoon.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I finally had enough. I called the doctor.

Which, lest you think I’m a completely negligent mother, I’ll have you know that I had also called him first thing Monday morning. Because even though I’m no doctor, I was fairly certain his appendix needed to be removed. Immediately.

WebMD has never steered me wrong before.

But apparently there’s a first time for everything.

I could actually hear the pediatrician rolling his eyes over the phone. I’ve known him for a while. I was in youth group with his daughter, so we kind of go way back.

And then he patiently explained why it was NOT my son’s appendix and was “just the stomach flu”.

Ok. Point taken. And yet…this wasn’t my first rodeo with the stomach flu and I had never seen anything like this before.

So, like I said…after Thursday afternoon, I’d had it. I decided to suck it up, pay the $20 co-pay, and hope that the doctor told me it was just a virus that needed to run its course.

I was counting on it, in fact. I had too much to do this week-end to be spending time in a hospital, having something removed, or sitting through multiple rounds of heavy-duty antibiotics.

Yes, my mind does tend to assume the worst. Why do you ask?

But when I called and explained what was going on, the nurse to whom I spoke said something to the effect of, “Oh yes, you need to bring him I and have him seen! Stomach flu shouldn’t last that long. We’d better make sure it isn’t his gall bladder.”

Gall bladder! I hadn’t even thought of that!

Immediately my mind began rearranging my schedule for the next few days: My 9yo’s birthday party, my 11yo’s lacrosse games (which I realized he may or may not be attending, but I was making a mental note to contact the coach), my small group meeting on Friday night, my grandma’s birthday (this is my OTHER grandma…yes I am fortunate enough to have them both. She’ll be 95 on Easter, but we’re going to celebrate with her this Sunday)…all of it (and probably more!) needing to be changed, rearranged, and generally dealt with.

But I did hold off on making any phone calls until we saw the doctor.

Which was probably best, because his gall bladder apparently is functioning just fine.

Well, as far as we know.

After a thorough inspection, complete with all sorts of examinations of his ticklish spots (my 11yo is highly ticklish and really wasn’t trying to laugh, but he was like a toddler getting the once-over from the doctor. Lying there on the table, all giggly.)

I’m not sure, though, if he was more mortified by that or the discussion we had about his bowel movements of the week.

And I’m certain that his favorite part was that his brother was a witness to it all.

As of yet, nothing has been said about it by either party. At least in my presence.

It might have had something to do with an off-handed comment I made…something to the effect of “You two had better work it out otherwise he (pointing to the 9yo) gets no birthday party this week-end. No family, no friends, no nothing.”

And I used the angry-eyes too…for emphasis.

If you’re a mom, you probably know what I mean. If not, ask a mom and she can probably model it for you.

When it was over and done with the doctor (ok, nurse practitioner, actually) basically said that they’ve been seeing a lot of this in their office.

Really? Just a tip: you might want to tell the person who answers the phone about that because I was in panic-mode for about an hour until we got into the office.

May have been my perception of what she said, and my heightened anxiety. But let’s not play the “blame-game”. I’m having too much fun with “solid, liquid, or gas?” to start playing something else.

She went on to say that this thing is like the Norovirus (which is what has been getting news attention lately  for outbreaks of it on cruise ships…so my son got the “cruise ship bug” without actually having the enjoyment of being on a cruise. Bummer, dude.)  

Regardless of the name, this bug that they’ve been seeing in their office lasts anywhere from 4 days to a week. We were past the 4-day mark; started on Sunday night and now we’re to Friday morning. So much for hoping for the short end of the stick.

Bottom line assessment:  And it’s viral and just has to run its course.  No fever=NOT contagious. (That’s been the big concern for the 9yo all week: Contagious=no party. Phew…dodged that bullet!)  And that we hopefully (prayers going up and fingers crossed!) we won’t get it. She said there’s no guarantee, but if we haven’t gotten it by now, we probably won’t. On a side note, my fingers are cracked and bleeding in multiple places from all the hand-washing. I’m not really complaining, as I’d rather have that issue that this nasty bug, but man my hands hurt!

Instructions: Keep him hydrated and on a bland diet (already on it...the poor thing did not want to look at another bottle of PowerAde or oyster cracker. We all ate pizza in front of him last night…hey, we can’t ALL be eating oyster crackers and drinking PowerAde, Jack!...sorry, just channeling Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty there for a moment…my 9yo talks like Si all the time so it now just creeps into my daily speech.)

Bill: That will be $20. Thanks for coming.

Friday morning evaluation by the “mommy doctor”:  He’s up, he’s fine, asking for more food than he’s eaten total all week, and asking about week-end plans. I’m so glad I spent that $20.  Grrrrr.