Listicles: Ten Reasons You Should Carry a Purse

It’s the time again…where do the days go? I always feel like I am lucky to get one Monday Listicles with Stasha posted and another topic is lurking right behind it!

And to be honest, most of the time I forget until about Saturday or Sunday to write my post. So the blame probably should fall on me.

But today, I COULD be in luck, should I choose to accept the help. A few months ago, I wrote a post entitled “Everything I Need”; and it was about the contents in my purse.

Could I revamp it to fit my needs today (and yes, my blogging is a NEED)? Absolutely. But I am not going to. Just two days ago, I recycled a writing I had posted on FB last summer, but it had never made it to the blog because it was PB (that’s Pre-Blog…not to be confused with the PBA, which is what we use to refer to our homeschool).

That being said, I won’t make this post a recycle too. And to add to my compulsion to write something new, I was sharing with my friend KW about this conundrum…what to do, what to do? Write something new or recycle a post. And then she threw out this topic…so if you hate it, blame her. If you love it, let me know and I will pass along the compliment. I told her she should start her own blog, but she said she was only good for the ideas.

She must not read my blog too often, because most of the time I don’t even have a good idea with which to launch a post!

So, at KW’s insistence (ok, not really…she simply suggested it…no discernible begging), instead of writing down Ten Things In My Purse, I have chosen to list Ten Reasons Why You Should Carry a Purse. Some of it, I’ll admit, piggy-backs on the Everything I Need topic, because how could I possibly go through my every day without some of these items at my immediate disposal?!? They are in my purse for that very reason.

So without further hesitation, I give you The List (and, of course, it is in no particular order):

1. Where else will you find that emergency cough-drop which rolls around in the bottom of your purse for years? Sure, it’s fuzzy, some of the paper might be worn from it, and you might actually have to stick the whole thing in your mouth, paper and all, and basically suck the paper off of it. But it’s either that or nothing. And faced with such a dilemma, I’m going to suck paper from a cough drop.
2. How else will you transport your George Costanza wallet? I’m not here to judge anyone, because I have the same addiction…if a store employee offers a card to me which could POSSIBLY save me some money, I am all over it. As a result, I have a discount card for every establishment I have ever set foot inside, as well as some I have not. It’s a sickness, truly. I should probably attend a meeting about it. But I digress. One other thing to say about the wallet is this: if you can’t hold your own wallet, why would you ask someone else? No one wants that kind of responsibility. That’s why you give it to the purse to hold. It’s right there, keeping your wallet and your many other possessions snuggled up, nice and safe.
3. Same principal goes for keys…if you can’t hold them, or fit them in your pocket because a) your pants are too tight; b) you’re wearing leggings or something else with an elastic waist which doesn’t have pockets; or c) you can’t possibly fit your keys into your pocket because of all the discount card tags (and yes, you probably have them both in your wallet and on your key ring…because chances are you might be out somewhere and have EITHER your keys, OR your wallet, but MAYBE not both. And then where would you be without the ability to get your discount?). The purse is a great spot for keys. Don’t give someone else the responsibility, or risk the possibility of losing them because you set them down somewhere.
4. Where will you put your phone? Again, this is about practicality. You have several things which you carry with you (usually your wallet, keys and phone…am I right?)…why NOT put them all together in one easy-to-manage spot?  It doesn’t have to be a big, bulky, heavy thing…it can basically hold just those three items. Problem solved. And as far as the phone goes, I assure you that it’s always a little more tactful to rummage through your purse in search of your phone than trying to fish it out of your pocket in jeans which may be too tight. And just an aside, nobody wants to see your “hasn’t seen the daylight in decades” stomach when you’re a little too aggressive in your attempt to get your hand in your pocket and you mistakenly pull up your shirt up above the waist-band. Also it sounds better too: “Sorry I couldn’t find my phone in my purse” rather than “I couldn’t get my phone out my pocket”…which generates an entirely different visual for those of us who may be more of a visual bent.  
5. How else will you bring in germs from any and every place you go, AND neatly deposit said germs on the kitchen counter? (I personally don’t do this…I’ve seen too many “60 Minutes” to do that…though I probably don’t wipe down my purse as often as I should. Regardless, it is just G.R.O.S.S.)
6. How else will you keep your lips properly glossed up? My lipgloss. It never seems to stay in my pocket…it always works its way out somehow, regardless of the type of pants I’m wearing or the cut of the pocket. Don’t judge…I’m not 100% certain that it’s the belly fat pushing it out. It can’t be that EVERY time, right?
7. Who doesn’t love to carry a purse of a color that actually looks wretched against your skin tone, but you LOVE the color itself? I have a couple like that. I look absolutely S.I.C.K. (and I’m NOT talking about that in a good way) in yellow…any shade of yellow. But I love the color yellow. To compensate for this lack of one of my favorite colors in my wardrobe, I bought a bright yellow purse to satisfy the need (yes, I’m calling it a need…don’t judge). And the best part is that it doesn’t make me look sick. Even better! Who wants to look sick when you’re trying to be cute?
8. If someone ever attempts to mug you, you can swing your purse at him (or her…I don’t want to make presumptions or not be “equal opportunity” in my scenario about your attack…but it is all pretend, though. As with all possible bad things that we don’t want to talk about ever happening to us, if we do, in fact, discuss them, they won’t ever happen. I might be a little nuts in my thinking here, but so far it’s worked for me. So I will choose to go with it.). And if you have enough stuff in your purse (as I suspect that I have in mine) you can knock him out (or at least stun him) while you run away. Granted, you may be wearing cute shoes to go with cute said purse (that’s kind of goes without saying, though again I am saying it, that I presume you have a CUTE purse and not just one which is functional. If your purse is not cute, I’m not entirely sure we can be friends. I’ll have to ruminate on it. Submit a photo, along with your request, and I’ll make my decision. And please don’t call and harass me about it…I’ll get to it when I get to it.), and you may not be able to get away as fast as need be. Or you may, I’m sorry to say, need to ditch the cute shoes…in the hopes that you can possibly go back and fetch them later.
9. How else can you carry around all those coupons and giftcards, prepared for any item which may be unexpectedly on sale (or clearance!)? Otherwise, you leave those coupons at home or in the car and you miss out on a killer deal, just because you weren’t carrying a purse. How could you possibly live with yourself?
10. And last but not least (and actually is probably the Number 1 reason if I had to rank them):  Seriously, where else will you store your extra feminine hygiene products? You don’t want to carry your feminine hygiene products out for God and everyone to see. If nothing else, for one week a month, PLEASE spare your friends, family members, and miscellaneous loved ones the agony of seeing that you have a visitor. If they know you at all, they already KNOW that it’s that week, but we really don’t need to advertise it for those who may be unaware. (I just want to give a big shout-out to my friend KW who threw me that bone when we were discussing the blog…and again, please be sure to blame her for my off-track topic this time. As I said, usually it’s all my doing but this time it’s KW. Yes, I’m shirking the responsibility here.)

I’m sure my persuasive arguments presented here convinced were more than you could bare…Happy Purse Shopping!