Monday Listicles: Ten Pipe Dreams

As a child, I would often dream about what my future would hold. Little did I have any inkling of how my adult life would unfold…but I knew DEFINITIVELY that I wouldn’t have any stinky boys in my house.

Needless to say (well, I suppose I need to say it if you’ve never read my blog and are completely unaware of the PBA…I have two boys, ages 9 and 11), that didn’t work out for me. And neither did my list of 10 Things As a Child I Thought I Would Be…which just so happens to be today’s Monday Listicles topic from Stasha.

Also, I must confess, before you dive in, that I didn’t follow the topic as given (SHOCKER!)…I made it more of a study in characters I wanted to emulate in some way, but realistically were not things that were going to probably happen for me; and that’s why I am calling this post Ten Pipe Dreams.

Regardless of the fact that characters are such EASY (please note the sarcasm here…you should because I’m laying it on pretty thick) personalities to emulate, I have to say (Spoiler Alert) that I have achieved none of these attributes/features/characteristics/costumes in my 39 years.

Not that I’m complaining, as the list itself will explain (well, it SHOULD explain it).

So here is my list, in no particular order. Have you noticed that I say that every week? I really have trouble choosing a favorite of anything…except husbands…I have a favorite one of those. Oh, and parents…I have a favorite set of parents too.

The rest of you I love for various and sundry reasons. I don’t have any favorite readers, but some of you are closer to the top of the list than others. And don’t ask me if it’s you because I refuse to divulge such things. Plus I don’t want to harbor any jealousy or ill-will.

• Kimberly Drummond…pretty, blond, rich chick. Say no more.
• Blaire Warner…again with the pretty, blond, rich chick.  
• Cinderella…need I really explain this? Again…pretty, blond, rich chick…and a princess to boot. Are we sensing a theme?
• Annie…as in Little Orphan Annie…yes, she was a child, but I still had grand expectations of living in a huge house and having all that money. Either shows back then greatly focused on money, or I had a somewhat unhealthy perception of what happiness was; I blame tv for that.  
• Denise Huxtable…though not always the smartest crayon in the box, she wasn’t afraid to be her own person. But bottom line, I really just liked her clothes.
• Wonder Woman…man, those bullet-deflecting bracelets she had were cool. But I still don’t understand the invisible plane. Or the skimpy costume. I mean, sure, the costume would look great on me, but that wasn’t the draw. It was all about fighting those bad guys. Oh, and she got to wear a crown like she was a princess.
• Daisy Duke…I am reluctant to admit this one, as I don’t typically gravitate toward a role model who is a scantily-clad woman whose behind hangs out of the backside of her shorts. But I really just thought her cousins were cool (and cute…I’m not going to lie). You know who I’m talking about…Bo & Luke...and just for the record, it should be “Beau” instead of “Bo”. I’m just here to educate. Oh, and let me point out that she was NOT rich…I wasn’t too far gone.
• Laura Ingalls…ah, the allure the prairie held for me. I thought I would be a fantastic pioneer girl/woman for sure. I have come to grasp the reality of what that life entailed and I have to say a big “No, thank you” to that. I do like my indoor plumbing (and many other things…sugar for one) too much to consider such craziness. Oh…this one was not rich either…although do you remember that one episode of the show when they thought they were distant relatives of this rich guy who died? Yeah, I didn’t like that one…seemed like a cruel hoax to me. And I did get Melissa Gilbert’s autograph…well, I’m sure it was a stamp on the photo, but I wrote to her and that’s what I got. It was a treasured keepsake…too bad I have no idea what happened to it.  I’m sure it would be worth millions.
• Princess Leia…I mean, come on! She had Hot Buns…two of them, to be exact, AND she was a princess. Albeit one without appropriate supportive undergarments, but I didn’t notice that when I was a kid. And she lived in outer space. And she knew how to handle herself in a tough situation. A super-tough princess. How awesome is that? How could I NOT want to be like that.
• Maggie Seaver…she was a journalist (which as you may or may not know, is what I studied at IU…see how I’m putting it to use here?) She also had a cute family and a husband who made her laugh…of all the names on the list, I think I’ve come closest with her. My husband is not a psychiatrist, though he sometimes plays the role for one special little lady (that being me, in case you were confused...and just to clarify, I am not calling myself special, but he might. Don’t ask him today, though, but almost any other time.) Not that I want him to solve anything…just listen.  Ladies, I’m sure you understand what I mean. Oh, and Mr. Always Random is much more handsome than Alan Thicke (no offense, Alan, if you’re reading this…and I’m certain that you are!)

So…thanks for muddling through that list with me.  And for allowing me into the party, in spite of my tardy appearance.  Have a glorious day! 

Please don't be confused...this is NOT Lynda Carter.
See, I told you I looked good in the Wonder Woman costume.