And I Quote

It’s time again to link up with Stasha’s Monday’s Listicles. This week’s topic is Top Ten Movie Quotes. Now I have to confess that we don’t watch a whole lot of movies. It’s not that we don’t like movies…it’s more about the fact that it’s rare for us to have 2-3 hours in a row in which we can sit down and watch a movie.

And we definitely don’t go to the theater…those seats and the floors are enough to send this germaphobe over the ledge. But mostly we don’t go to the theater because of the cheapskate residing within me.

Ok, I won’t lie….it’s an equal balance between those two things. But my family thinks it’s mostly that I’m cheap.

I can live with that.

On occasion we will go to the cheapie theater but that’s ONLY after everyone else has seen a certain movie that they insist we see in a theater. I can maybe do it then, especially if I am wearing long sleeves and long pants. And no one touches anything while we’re there. And everyone scrubs their hands when we leave.

There’s a reason they keep theaters dark and I’m not 100% certain it’s for “ambiance”…I think it’s to hide the fact that they don’t clean them very well. Plus, we all know what kind of critter comes out in the dark…that’s right La Cucaracha.

Yes, I fully expect that song is stuck in your head now.

Anyway, as I was considering my personal list, I decided to enlist the assistance of the PBA for this one as well. In fact, they each did their own list of Top Ten Movie Quotes. Please be advised, however, that I am fairly certain they did not choose their top ten quotes from every movie they have ever seen, but instead from the movies they are currently watching repeatedly. I’m sure you’ll be able to easily discern which ones they’ve perhaps seen one too many times.

That’s the thing about not having much time to watch a movie…once you get through it one time, you know which parts are your favorites so you can simply fast-forward to those parts and can effectively watch a movie in about 30-45 minutes. 

And with the kinds of movies they like to watch…you could probably watch it the first time and still get the gist of it in only 30-45 minutes.

But I digress.

One last item of interest before reading the 9yo’s list, please be advised that he likes to quote large chunks of movies, so what makes a good quote to him is not necessarily something meaningful or inspirational…it’s typically just a part of a whole scene that makes him laugh.

Oh wait…one more thing. And this is REALLY the last thing: I left the quote checking up to the PBA…if the quote they gave me was written incorrectly, it has been written incorrectly in this blog. That’s how I roll. I check my work; they check theirs.

Now, without further ado…I give you The 9yo’s List of Top Ten Movie Quotes:

1. May the Force be with you…Star Wars: A New Hope
2. I will stuff you all in the crust!...Despicable Me
3. These are not pajamas; this is a warm-up suit!...Despicable Me
4. Use for Force, Luke…Star Wars: A New Hope
5. Out of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Browniest…Charlie Brown Christmas (not exactly a movie but has more redeeming value than most movies out there so I let it slide.)
6. Whaaaaat?...Despicable Me
7. They are my uuummmmmm cousins…Despicable Me
8. Did you guys fix Buzz? Uhhh sort of…Toy Story 3
9. What? These are kittens...any relation to any persons living or dead is completely coincidental…Despicable Me
10. The Force will be with you, always…Star Wars: A New Hope

And here is The 11yo’s List of Top Ten Movie Quotes:

1. May the odds be ever in your favor…The Hunger Games
2. It’s so fluffy…I’m gonna die!...Despicable Me
3. As long as you have this pin, nothing bad is going to happen to you…The Hunger Games
4. You have to get the girl a new unicorn toy…Despicable Me
5. Ha! Ha! Ha! Butt!...Despicable Me
6. Don’t say his name!...Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
7. What are you all staring at?... The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
8. The rat just talked. It’s getting him to shut up that’s the trick… The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
9. No one touches the tail! Aslan gave it to me himself!...The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
10. I don’t want to be a good man; I want to be a great one…Oz, The Great and Powerful (as yet unseen but the trailer has him convinced that the movie will be quote-worthy).

And now my list…which is, as you would expect, slightly more random than the lists of my children. And no, they don’t necessarily have any real significance or meaning…they may or may not be inspirational. Probably not. Definitely not, if I’m honest at all.

They appeal to me more in terms of about how I can work them into my daily life, sometimes substituting a word for something appropriate to an actual situation. Here are my Top Ten Movie Quotes (in no particular order):

1. Are you crying? Are you crying? There’s no crying in baseball!...A League of Their Own (I like to substitute the word “baseball” with “school” and say it to my children.)
2. One does like a hint of color…The Birdcage (To Mr. Always Random when he wears something other than a neutral blue, black, brown or grey shirt…he loves it. Sometimes he’ll even say it about himself.)
3. The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!...The Jerk (Yes, I say this EVERY time we get a new phone book…never gets old. To me.)
4. Have fun storming the castle…The Princess Bride (I got to use this one just last night on my 11yo as he went off to participate in a Nerf Gun War at youth group…yes, I used the word “war” and “youth group” in the same sentence. Don’t judge.)
5. Just a flesh wound…Monty Python and The Holy Grail (My all-time F.A.V.O.R.I.T.E. thing to say to the PBA when they come to me with a scrape or scratch…they have started saying it as well. “Mom, it’s just a flesh wound…but can I have a band-aid and some medicine for it?” I wish this movie didn’t have totally random, inappropriate parts which were unsuitable for children…well, anyone really…because most of this movie is gloriously funny and I would love to let the PBA watch it. But alas…they cannot.)
6. What's your record for consecutive questions asked?...Uncle Buck (Sometimes when I use this, or at least think this, it can come across as though I don’t appreciate an inquisitive mind…and sometimes I don’t; trust me…I love following a bunny trail most of the time, but every once in a while, the bunny trail the questions take us way off track and I have to bring us back to where we started. Usually asking this question in response to a question does the trick.)
7. This is a hobo suit, darling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it. Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now? Feh! …The Incredibles (Frankly, this one I don’t think I have ever worked into an actual conversation…it’s not really one you can just throw in casually, so I’ve been waiting for the prime opportunity. I know it will come if I am just patient enough.)
8. We’re going AROUND the leaf…A Bug’s Life (I think of this one just about every day when I work at the preschool…watching the little ones walk down the hall.)
9. Use the force, Luke…Star Wars: A New Hope (I sometimes use this when I remind my 9yo to “Use the fork” when eating his salad, instead of shoveling it in with his hands. Sure, I should simply be thankful that he’s eating salad without an argument, but there comes a time when manners really need to take first priority.)
10. Trouble right here in River City…trouble with a capital “T”…The Music Man (Yes, it’s more a lyric than a quote but I’m claiming it nonetheless, even though no one ever gets my reference. It still makes me laugh.)

So there you have the Top 30 Movie Quotes from the Always Random and Usually Shallow Family….well, most of us. Mr. Always Random was busy working on the flooring and the new laundry room sink so I think the assignment slipped his mind; yes, I said assignment. No one is free from assignments at the PBA, not even the principal. I’ll let it slide. This time.

I will confess that there most probably quotes that are better. In fact, I compared our list to the AFI’s list and believe it or not, we didn’t have many choices line up. Shocking, I know, since, the (and I quote their website when I say) “AFI is America's promise to preserve the history of the motion picture, to honor the artists and their work and to educate the next generation of storytellers.”

 And that sounds so much like us at the PBA.