Friday, October 5, 2012

Not Quite a Farewell to Football

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post may be a little snarky and so you may not want to read on. Consider yourself warned. Proceed with caution.

I thought for sure the Ducks were going to lose their playoff game. My 9yo’s football team had the best record in their league or division or whatever it’s called. Can you tell that I never really got into it? Their record was 9-1. They got a bye in the first round of the Playoffs so they only had to win one game, against the North Carolina Tarheels, in order to go to the Super Bowl.
The Ducks didn’t come out of the gate very strong. Apparently the boys weren’t blocking well, as one of our mothers was kind enough to reiterate from the sidelines, “GET YOUR BLOCKS!” And no worries, she was an equal opportunity reminder…mostly she directed her attention toward her son, but there also many times in which she “encouraged” the whole team. Someone should really get her some Tootsie Pops. I’m telling you…soccer has trained us well.

Anyway…as the score wasn’t looking so good for the Oregon Ducks, I thought that this was surely the end. I was HOPING this was surely the end. I had the blog all written up in my head. I know…Mother Of The Year right here. I adore my children and enjoy watching them do something they love. But I never could get into the culture which seems to permeate football in this community…well, any sport really. I know it’s there in soccer as well, but we have been mostly blessed and haven’t had to deal with completely over-the-top parents too much. So far. I’m certain our day is coming, at which time I blog about them. I suspect youth sports are no different in other places, but this is my sample size of 1. And I don’t care for it. There: I said it for everyone to see.
To make a long story short, the Ducks pulled out a win in the last minute (the last 40 seconds, if you want to be technical), winning by one point. I was happy for my son, who may not play football again after this year, and of course I want him to go out on that high.

The team was invited to go out to dinner, following the big Playoff win. We declined the offer and my 9yo (understandably) moped around like his dog had died. In fact, he probably moped around MORE than if his dog had died. And he informed me that I “never want him to do anything fun”. I told him that he was correct. I don’t. I’m the mom and that’s my job…Fun Police. I also told him he’d better not play in the Super Bowl on Sunday, because that might be fun.
Immediately, with sobbing and wailing and “heart-felt” repentance, he clung to my legs. “I’m sorry I was insolent! Can I play on Sunday?!?” Of course I will let him…I just had to show him who’s got the upper hand here.

I thought I had dodged a bullet and would only have to go out once for a celebratory dinner on Sunday (assuming they won) or a consolatory dinner (assuming they lost).  However, the icing on my cake came the next morning; I could not have been further off-base. This Bantam Football was WAY more intense than I had previously discerned. And if my 9yo was mad before, he was REALLY going to be mad now (because, as the Fun Police, my job is to make sure that we would not be engaging in ALL the festivities). 
Apparently at dinner after the Playoff game, some of the moms got together and planned a bunch of events to “make this weekend unforgettable for the boys”.  We received an email about it, first thing the next morning. I didn’t even want to read on, and yet I did. I had to know. Kind of like a traffic accident…you hate to look but you do anyway.

In a nutshell, here’s the “plan” for this an unforgettable weekend:
  • Moms to meet at Louie’s to then go shopping for decorations. (Decorations will come into play in a bit…stay with me).  I was so sorry that I already had plans and wouldn’t be able to help with the shopping.  Bummer...    
  • Practice on Saturday morning (which we already knew, per the coach).    
  • Then a Team and Family Pitch-in Dinner and Car Decorating party on Saturday night.    
  • Also after the boys go to sleep on Saturday night, we, as moms, are expected to decorate their bedroom doors. I’m sorry…what? Ummmmm…this is getting a little weird but ok…keep going; what else have you got?    
  • Sunday morning – Team Breakfast at Sophia’s. Well, I can get on board with the Sophia’s business but weren’t we all just together the night before for dinner? Do we REALLY need to do both?    
  • Additionally they would like each of us to buy wood stake/cutout things, cut in the shapes of the football jerseys, each with the name and number of our child (to the tune of $20 each) AND for each child to bring their jersey to practice on Saturday morning to have their picture taken, so each picture can be blown up into poster size (to the tune of $10 each). Both of these will be used during the one-hour Super Bowl game on Sunday, to display our team support.
Now, you all know that I love my boys immensely and fiercely, and that I would go to the moon and back for them. But if I have taught them anything, it is to not spend money frivolously. And to shell out $30 (plus whatever else I have to chip in for the car & door decorations) for one game. Plus the dinner, and the breakfast. I’m sorry but that’s a little insane.  And he’s 9.

Yes, I’m going to say it again. He’s 9.
Hope we don't have anything planned for this weekend other than the Super Bowl festivities, because one way or another it will be an unforgettable week-end for all of us!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, that is just too much. That child cannot play football again if this is what the football club is like. I don't think this much was put into the actual NFL Super Bowl.