Sunday, October 14, 2012

By the Thirteenth Hour

I am not a good traveler…I am the first one to admit that. I like seeing new places and learning new things, and riding in a car (or plane) isn’t really a problem for me. Hotels are the problem for me. That is a post for another time. I promise you I will come back to it. And it will be a good one, I am certain. But I digress…

Having recently spent 13 hours (and some change) in a car (actually a van, to be more precise) with my husband, the PBA, and my parents, I learned a few things along the way which I would like to impart with you now. And some things I previously knew but today brought it to the forefront of my mind. Some of these tidbits may benefit you at some point. Most will not. Some will make you scratch your head and say, “Why on earth did they do that?” or “What were they doing that she learned that?” I probably have no explanation, so save your words and don’t bother asking.

  • Beginning a trip at 4am is crazy, because that is early; getting up at 3am for the 4am departure is even crazier.
  • Gas stations on remote interstate exits are busy at 6 in the morning, even on a Saturday.
  • 7am is too early for MadLibs. For one, it was too dark to see.
  • My 9yo needs to eat often otherwise he gets cranky. I have no idea where he gets that from. Probably his father.
  • All you need to do is casually ask a question my father doesn’t know the answer to and he’ll look it up on his phone.
  • 7:30am is still too early for MadLibs. Apparently this family has no sense of humor at an early hour.
  • My immune system waited until the first day of vacation to let its guard down; sneezing, running and congested nose (go figure), headache…all the fun stuff. Love me a cold!
  • It is difficult to find a CVS when you’re traveling on the interstate.
  • My mom has little news (specifically regarding other people) to share with me because I learn everything on Facebook.
  • As we ate breakfast at the Tennessee Welcome Center, we realized that our plan for a picnic breakfast may have missed the appropriate season for such things. Even by delaying breakfast to allow time for a rise in temperature, it was still only 47 degrees at 9 in the morning.
  • The bathrooms in Walmart in Williamsburg, KY are not the nicest of Walmart restrooms, and the store does not have a Starbucks.  But there was no line at the check-out.
  • The “Quiet Game” still works on the PBA.
  • My 11yo’s legs no longer fit comfortably in the third row of seats in a mini-van. Passengers in the middle row constantly had feet by their head or had their elbows being nudged out of the armrest by a pair of feet.
  • A 16 ounce disposable coffee cup can hold quite a few used tissues. My mom called it my biohazard container. I was surprised that my family didn’t break out their SARS masks right there in the van.
  • A cherry spot for our picnic lunch came with the price tag of multiple bees swarming around us, and some fresh dog poo right next to the concrete slab on which rested the picnic table. I was constantly watching the PBA and reminding them to look before they stepped. Mind you, we ate breakfast and lunch standing up and/or walking around, to help eliminate the TB one gets from riding in the car long distance. You know TB…”Tired Butt”.
  • A minivan with 6 people is too small a space for Nerf guns.
  • Some seemingly innocuous gas stations have unconventional machines on the walls of their restrooms.
  • If you get up at 3 in the morning and sit in the car for long periods of time, you may take a series of naps of varying lengths throughout the day.
  • If you drink a 32 ounce soda, you will have to make more frequent bathroom stops. If four of you each drink a 32 ounce soda, the number of bathroom stops can increase exponentially.
  • The PBA still refuse to nap simultaneously in the car; all the way there, at least one of them was awake at all times. I think they covertly planned that.
  • The Garmin is infinitely superior to the on-board nav system in my parent’s van…we lovingly refer to it as “Miss Taken”. Yeah it’s funny…trust me. Say it out-loud and all together as one word.
And last but not least, by the end of the day, I realized that maybe I should get a hobby, because I’m getting a little obsessed with the blog…

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