Sunday, August 17, 2014

The Mutiny: Month 1 Day 16: An Ugly Rant and Attitude

Warning! I am about to complain! A lot, in fact. Feel free to pull the rip cord right now....I wouldn't blame you if you did. And trust me: I won't even know if you bail out early.

I pondered not writing this. 

And then I pondered not posting this.

But I knew it would not be fair or realistic or accurate if I made this whole thing seem like it was all sunshine and lollipops. (And speaking of lollipops, you may have noticed that Tootsie Roll Pops are not on my list...I have made it through 4 soccer games in the past week with nary a Tootsie Roll Pop...or sucker of any kind. Hold your applause until the end, please. But I have digressed.)

Or at the very least: something which was slightly difficult but really not all that big of a deal.

But it IS a big deal. (I know...I'm a word-smith right here.)

I have learned so much about myself, if nothing else...

And (here's a warning) how people think you're weird when you do this sort of thing.

Believe me...I'm not going to be like St. Francis of Assis and wear a brown wool robe tied with twine, and shave the crown of my head.

I'm fairly certain that the Lord has not, nor will He, call me to do that.

I think He knows better than to even joke about it...and yes, God does joke. I have two boys as living proof of that.

But I digress...again.

I know you are sick of hearing about this Mutiny 7 Experiment thing...and I apologize for that; we will be finished with the entire experiment on May 8, 2015 so feel free to come back after that.

Yes, I may or may not have counted up the exact days left.

Don't judge.

I actually did it so I could know what "month" was happening when ("Media" happens over Christmas...because I know you were all wondering).

So I have hit a wall and I am not feeling the "7" love today. 

In fact, I am not thankful at all.

I do not want to eat any of these foods on my list in any way, shape or form.

The exception possibly being Moose Tracks Frozen yogurt by Kemp's...I could eat that (and yes, that IS judging).

A big bowl of that. I want a greasy cheeseburger, or a pizza, or a big chocolate frozen custard creation with Reece's peanut butter cups and hot fudge...frankly, anything else than the 7 foods I swore I'd eat this month.

So yes...not thankful at all.

And not just "not thankful"...I am feeling sick of it altogether.

In fact, I just kind of feel sick. 

Warning! More complaining ahead: I have been fighting a cold since Thursday evening and the cold is kind of kicking my behind a little bit. I wake up ok, but by the middle of the day, all I want to do it lie down.

Which is awesome when you're a homeschool mom and looking ahead to a whole 5 days of school...wahoo!

I have been taking zinc ever since the first sniffle.

That's not entirely true...after I sneezed about 25 times in the course of 10 minutes, I knew something was up.

Say what you will about me: I'm a quick study.

And THEN I began the zinc. I believe in that stuff whole-heartedly. If you've never tried it, you should.

But I'll warn you: it does make food taste slightly off.

And the roof of your mouth will feel a little tender...almost like it's burned. I'm certain that the zinc lozenges had nothing to do with that.

So is that part of the reason for my discontent?

Probably partially, but definitely not completely.

The other part is that I am realizing, increasingly as the days go on, that I am NOT truly content with what I have, even though my "minimal" food is way more than so many other people in this world.

And the millions around the world who get a cup of rice to eat each day (if they're lucky)...they don't even get to choose what they eat.

I got to choose my foods and I carefully considered many options...eventually deciding on that which (I thought) would offer us a lovely little variety of combinations as well as appropriate vitamins and nutrients.

I got to freaking CHOOSE my foods and I am still not thankful.

Why can't I be thankful?

Because (be's the confession) I am choosing the discontent. 

The dissatisfaction. 

The lack of a thankful heart.

And now the conviction...the verse that has been trying to play in my mind today and I keep swatting it away: 

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalm 100:4

So is like that...

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1 comment:

  1. We often to chose discontentment, and then stay there. Time to pull up your boot straps and make a thankful list.
    I am thankful for you.