Deep Thoughts: Dog Walking and Bin Men

So…I clearly do some of my best ruminating while I’m walking Indy so be prepared for some greatness.

OK…maybe that’s a stretch. Or simply an out-right lie.

I can’t really promise anything other than a bunch of words strung together.

This morning began as any other: I left the house at 5:45 in an effort to get $50 in free groceries at the new Fresh Thyme Market which is celebrating its grand opening today.

So maybe that’s not like any other day.

As I pulled into the PACKED parking lot at 6 (yes, that’s in the AM), my phone began ringing. It was my friend CB (who was the mastermind behind this whole idea), calling to tell me that all the numbers (there were 250 numbered tickets for the first 250 people in line to each claim $50 in free groceries) were already gone. The line had wrapped around the building. And then some.

Bummer.

But, because of this, I was back home by 6:15 and by 6:20, I was walking Indy. Which I am certain he very-much appreciated.

He’s trying to watch his girlish figure.

I don’t know what that means because

a) he’s a boy…technically a eunuch, but potato, potahtoe…and

b) he’s a dog…so yeah…not really a “figure” to watch.

My apologies…these are the things that pop into my head and I feel compelled to share.

So…I was out walking the dog and he, as he (usually) does, made a deposit in someone’s yard (rarely is it one of the various empty lots nearby).

And being the conscientious dog-owner I am, I bring little “poo-bags” with me.

Much to my boys chagrin, this can be anything from a grocery bag, a bread bag, a tortilla bag, or a newspaper bag (you know what I mean, right? The bags the newspaper is delivered in if the weather appears somewhat dismal and wet. Or at least should be put in…sometimes it is not and you have to spread the newspaper all over the house trying to get it to dry just so you can thoroughly check out all the ads and clip the coupons.)

The PBA thinks is odd that I would save all those bags, but I ask why pay for something you can get for free?

Sometimes I think I’m a product of The Great Depression.

But other times I actually buy (insert look of shock here) the pack of 60 or 900 or whatever the count is “official poo bags” at the Dollar Tree…but only the ones with pink bones on them.

I try to emasculate the dog whenever I get the chance, apparently.

Besides…he’s color blind so he doesn’t even know the difference between pink and blue or why that would even be emasculating.

But do me a favor and please don’t tell him.

Anyway…this morning (as ALWAYS) I picked up the poo. Twice, actually. He went twice. And even though it’s lots of fun to carry a dog’s poo through the neighborhood, I began looking for somewhere to dump it. I mean…throw it away. There’s not nearly as much construction as there has been, so finding a construction dumpster isn’t as convenient.

I mean, there is a house nearby that was struck by lightning a few weeks ago and there’s a large dumpster in that driveway, but it’s really close to my house…if I’ve carried the poo for most of the walk, what’s a few more yards, right?

Yes, you’re right…if I happen to pass by it, I chuck that poo right in the dumpster.

Don’t judge.

And if you’re judging me on that, just wait; you have not yet begun to judge! (I don’t know what that means.)

Today was trash day. (Note the smooth transition) As my British friends might say, “The bin men are coming today.” How very proper and lovely to say it like that.

Anyway…lots of people had already put out their trash cans. And it occurred to me that I could sneak those poo bags into someone’s trash can and no one would ever be the wiser.

You’re judging me, aren’t you? Well, I have to admit, I also judged myself. Where would I draw the line?

What else would be acceptable to throw in someone else’s trash can, uninvited and unwanted?

Where would the insanity stop?

Well, I decided throwing dog poo in someone else’s trash can probably wouldn’t get me in too much trouble…but I still didn’t do it. I am "a straight and narrow kind of gal"...I say this in case you didn't know.

Don't judge.

I did carry it (it being the dog poo, in case you had lost track there) all the way home and put it in our own bin. (Look at me, pretending to be British; if I begin speaking in a British accent, just go along with it, please. Also, I’d like you to read the rest of this as though my voice does have a British accent. Thanks.)

But I did have another deep thought while walking the dog…I waffled between “where to unload this dog poo” and “the Mint-X trash bag commercial”.

Anyone out there know which commercial I am referencing?

Here it is for your viewing pleasure…it’s not on Youtube so you’ll actually have to click on the link…sorry to make you work a bit for it.

Is there such a large problem with rodents destroying trash bags that we have to market specific bags to avoid it? I suppose for some people but for the masses, probably not.

Just going out on a limb here. (I’ve certainly just jinxed it and we will now, most certainly, have an infestation of rodents in our garage…my apologies to Mr. AR.)

Anyway…the commercial makes me giggle (yes, I have the maturity of a 10yo boy) and really just wanted a reason to share it with you.

Notice my smooth segways…oooo and ahhh appropriately.

On that note, I think I hear the bin men coming down the street...and me without my bins out! Have a lovely day!

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