Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Spies Like Us

Before I get too far in and you’re wondering why the title is what it is…don’t over think it. It was all I could come up with, which tells you that I wasn’t in the mood to be clever at the time of writing. Don’t judge.

I got my permanent crown the other day (actually…it was today but it won’t post until at least tomorrow so I have to post-date it…is that right?..."post-date?” I know it’s not pre-date…or is it ante-date? Perhaps we should be working on more etymology at the PBA…anyway...if I said “today” it would not be true, even though at the time of writing it is. Follow?)

I shall move on. At the same time as my coronation also received two fillings.

Two of them. I know I’ve already told you that it was going to happen but I still cannot believe it to be true.

And one of the fillings was between my teeth.


I'm letting that sink in.

And to make things worse (although I think he was trying to make me feel better that we addressed it sooner rather than later)…he said if we waited a year to take care of it I would probably need a root canal OR an extraction.

Yeah…that does most certainly NOT make me feel better.

How did this happen?!? I am still stunned by it. (First world problem and all that)

Gentle as the dentist was, it was the worst experience ever. And this from a woman who has had two c-sections, as well as a 9.5 hour surgery of a breast reduction and abdominoplasty (that’s the nice term for tummy-tuck). Obviously that wasn’t all at the same time, however, the first two surgeries were mostly to blame for the 9.5 hour one.

And they were all totally worth it.

But I digress.

The dentist putting on the crown and filling the cavities was so encouraging  and engaging and, well “nice”…that word sticks in my craw like no other because it is a lazy adjective, among other reasons. But at the moment it’s all I can think of. I told you: I’m not in the mood to be clever.

But I realized as I was sitting there…my whole mouth, lips and tongue all numbed up and still completely miserable…I realized that I would be a horrible spy. Oh sure…I can keep a secret really well. Surprise parties? Surprise announcements? Anything you need to share with someone because you just can’t stand to NOT tell: I’m your gal…mum’s the word. I’m like a vault.

But apparently as soon as you start drilling on my teeth, causing my entire jaw to vibrate and smoke to gently drift from my mouth…I’m done. I’m giving up any secrets I have.

No information is safe from spillage.

However, it is fortunate for all of you who have shared a secret with me, the DENTIST is like a vault.

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