Half-Full Glasses

NOTE: I wrote this a while ago but I kind of sort of forgot about it. That happens every now and again. I am old, you know. So it is kind of old news at this point, but it still gave me a chuckle. Especially when I perused the pictures. Which I still did not get permission to post. But did it anyway.

I am here for all you fans…and my desire to make you laugh is strong.

Mr. AR will get over it. He’s all about the laugh too, actually.

And with that, here we go:

I am not always a glass-half-full kind of gal. I try to be, but sometimes I fall short. Often if I’m being completely honest.

And besides…this post isn’t really about having a positive attitude anyway.

It’s about glasses. The kind you wear on your face.

So this title was just a not-so-clever ruse to entice you into reading further.

You may have stopped by now…there’s no way of telling how to know. But regardless, your mere opening of the post gives me one more “tick” in my counting of blog views. It’s really what I’m all about.

But I digress. This post is about how we choose the glasses we choose…should we be in need of some glasses.

And how selfish I am sometimes.

I’m selling it, aren’t I? Makes you want to read more, doesn’t it? I’m captivating that way.

So…for a while now, I have known that Mr. AR has needed glasses. We thought it was to read and it was. But not to read up close and personal stuff.

No, he needed classes to read things such as street signs and game scores in the ticker on the bottom of the tv screen.

Important things. And unimportant things. (Don’t tell him I said the ticker was unimportant.)

Actually, he didn’t need them for either of those b/c if he’s been somewhere once, he knows exactly how to get there again and not only that, he can draw you a map and tell you 25 different ways to get there. Street names included.

Even though he can’t read a one of them.

And he doesn’t need to be able to read the ticker on the tv because there’s always someone else around for him to ask.

But I did make an eye doctor appointment for him anyway. You know…he IS over 40.

He went and they said he needed glasses.

But with all the expenses of my glasses and dental “stuff” we’ve blown through a good amount of our flexible spending money for the year (by mid-February, actually)…and that does not really bode well for the remaining 10 months.

So he decided that he didn’t really need glass. And didn’t order any.

But I noticed every evening while watching TV…lots of squinting going on in the chair adjacent to me (that’s where he sits, in case you were fuzzy on that).

So I told him to get the glasses. But I also told him that I needed input.

I have never understood the idea of making people who can’t see choose glasses for themselves. I was afraid this would happen.

OK, not really but it’s funny to consider.

So…Mr. AR finally he went to try on some glasses. But I couldn’t be there with him. So instead I received, via texting, a series of photos from Mr. AR.

And he included selfies in different glasses.

They were so funny but alas I am not allowed to share them. Mr. AR made that quite clear. Which is most unfortunate because as I was scrolling through them at the time, my initial thought was "Wow…these will look really great on the blog."

But being as how he is a stick in the mud (ok, not really, he puts up with a lot from me), he told me that in no uncertain terms was I allowed to post them.

As the dutiful, submissive wife, I shall try to be obedient.

Try.

Oh forget it…this was good fodder for the blog. And I resolve not to waste good fodder…leaving it to languish in my phone and in the “downloads” folder on my computer.

Here is the sequence (texting conversation included):

Mr. AR: #1 ???

Me: I know you’re joking.

Me: And if you’re not, you should be…

Mr. AR: I needed some reference so that’s where I started.

Mr. AR: #2???

Me: Ummm better. Kinda. Where are the Drew Carey’s?

Mr. AR: #3??

Mr. AR: I like these but I would have to pay another $23.

Me: Those are best. I suppose you’re worth $23.

Mr. AR: #4??

Mr. AR: These? $35 more.

Me: Ummm no.

Mr. AR: #5??

Mr. AR: Or these?

Me: Ummm the third ones.

Fast-forward to the following week. When he actually got said glasses.

Look...no writing on the lenses!

It was odd b/c he had me pick them up; he got the call on Friday morning that they were in and because he apparently could not wait (to see street signs and game scores at the bottom of the tv screen) he asked me to pick them up.

I understood; the office closed at 3 on Friday so he would have to wait until Monday (to see street signs and game scores at the bottom of the tv screen).

So again, still being the dutiful wife, I played my role and picked them up.

I didn’t really mind but I thought, “He said he didn’t even need the glasses and now all of a sudden he wants them. Like, in a desperate sort of way. Ok…”

When he got home, he immediately put them on. And for the most part, has not taken them off since.

But it hasn’t been a smooth transition. Remember…he’s never worn glasses. And he’s not far-sighted. Which means he can’t read as easily with the glasses on. I keep threatening to buy a chain for him to wear them around his neck.

He's not as amused by that as I am.

But on the flip side…the words on the screen at church are very clear and he no longer has to ask anyone what the score is on the game. Or the scores for any other games displayed at the bottom of the screen, for that matter.

And he discovered at church that preschoolers are a lot smaller than he is. And now he thinks all the floors are not level. And he’s walking everywhere with his hands outstretched as though he’s been drinking on a fishing boat during a storm.

It’s fun.

What’s not fun is that he has noticed that perhaps my domestic skills aren’t quite as good as he previously thought.

Boy, I hope those glasses don’t meet with an untimely demise.

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