Monday, February 24, 2014

Farts Are Funny

Last night at bedtime, I was feeling a bit anxious. I knew the 10yo was anxious about today's surgery and I wasn't sure how it would manifest at bedtime.

I didn't know what the conversation would bring, but anticipated some tears (I won't lie...from both of us) as the anticipation was kind of taking its toll.

He asked me to pray, and I was happy to oblige.

About halfway through the prayer, I heard a long, low rumble under the covers.

And then violent shaking of the bed and stiffled laughter.

Always the professional, I forged ahead and pretended to be unaware of the giggling going on just inches away.

As soon as I closed, my 10yo informed me, "I farted."

Me: Yes well, God made farts so He wasn't offended that you didn't it during prayer. (I am totally making assumptions here...the Bible doesn't address this topic specifically but I am basing it on what I know about God. Please don't try to debate my theology here.)

10yo:  I tried to hold it in but I just couldn't.

Unaware that I was was delving into an inpromptu science lesson, I replied: Yes, well, sometimes you just can't. What is a fart anyway?

10yo: It's gassy poop. (more laughter)

Me (insert eyeroll...can I just tell you how thankful I am that eyerolls are not auditory, but that's a topic for another day): I'm pretty sure poop does not always accompany it. Do we need to check your skivvies?

10yo (horrified): No!

Me: Ok, so farts are gas, just like burps are gas. When your digestive system has too much gas, it needs to be released, right?

10yo: Yes...

Me: So it either comes out as a burp or a fart.

Can I just pause and tell you how up until a few years ago I had only used the word "fart" maybe 5 times in my life (I realize that it could be more...that's all I can recall...I could have blocked it out, I suppose)...and now it's like saying "ice cream." Just rolls off the tongue.

10yo: So how does it know where to come out?

Me: I guess whichever end of the digestive system the gas is closest to...

For the record, this was not at all the direction I thought the bedtime conversation would go...

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  1. I love this conversation! Perfectly normal for a mom of boys!!! There is a book called EVERYBODY FARTS of FARLEY FARTS or WALTER THE FARTING DOG. I also said "fart" maybe a dz times until the boys got bigger, now it is a common word in our house and I wish it wasn't.

    1. Yes, as easily as it rolls off the tongue, I still immensely dislike the word. Here's to hoping that someday it is no longer in my everyday vocabulary!