Monday, September 9, 2013

Dear DILs: Lysol is Your Best Friend

Today I begin a series (we'll see how long I can maintain promises) of posts dedicated to my future Daughters-in-Law (abbreviated DILs). There are many things I want them to know...including, but not limited to, how I am doing the best I possibly can to prepare these boys to become good husbands.

I figure if I write the experiences down then maybe I can remember what I want to share. NOTE: If you know me in a few years when my boys get engaged (did I really just say "a few years"...I mean in 20 years...that sounds about right), remind me that I recorded these things to pass on to the girls. There is a distinct possibility I may otherwise forget.

Dear Future DILs,

There is so much wisdom, my darlings, that I want to impart to you. Things about these sweet boys, things about me and my husband, things about how we have opted to raise our boys. 

So much to share, so little time. 

Most of all, I truly want you to know how much I enjoy being their mama, and that I am working hard on your behalf to raise them to become amazing, God-fearing, household-leading husbands for you. 

I know that I'll never get it all down on paper but I shall do my best. I wish I had started years ago, so we could all see the progression, the successes and the areas in which we may need to give a little bit more effort.

But instead I will start where we currently are. And I shall start out with something in which I haven't had much luck in making a dent...not even much with Mr. Always Random.

First off is this: Boys are gross. Just know that now going into this thing called “marriage” and you’ll have a much easier time.

Maybe you have brothers and already know most of this, but lest you be an only child, or be familiar only with sisters, I felt compelled to share this information with you.

And trust me, even if you have brothers, I suspect being married to a boy is a different echelon of gross than you may have experienced in the past (no offense intended to my darling husband. Hugs to Mr. Always Random!)

I will admit that boys are pretty good at hiding the fact when you are dating, or even just when you are friends. I don’t know exactly how they do it, but they do.

I suppose it also has something to do with the phrase “Love covers a multitude of sins”; unfortunately the same does not go for “boy funk”.

I won’t go into what exactly that means, but you would be wise invest in some Lysol.

When you are working on your gift registry, you might even consider simply registering for a case of it while at Target, in fact. And/or buy it any time you see that it’s on sale. I assure you that it won’t go bad before it’s utilized.

Good ole Lysol spray…kills the germs that cause horrible odors. And no, I am not receiving a cut from this infomercial…I’m simply plugging a quality product.

This stuff works wonders. Specifically in shoes. 

And shinguards and shoulder pads.

And sports bags. 

And bathrooms. Boys claim that they’re paying attention in the bathroom, but believe me: they are not; they’re scratching, they’re stretching, they’re looking around. If you haven’t experienced a bathroom inhabited by boys, I really don’t aim (pardon the pun, because they don’t aim) to scare you off and I shall leave it at this: trust me when I say that if you’ve never been big into cleaning, you will be once you get married. Bathrooms at the very least.

This is minimal. It may get worse. Consider yourself warned.  With that I wish you good luck and Godspeed.

Your future MIL


  1. I shall put a note to remind you of these letters on the dog brush. :)

    1. Perfect...I was hoping that you would! :) I'm counting on my BFF.

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  2. Really sweet idea for a series.

    I know that certain people not-too-far-from-you are worrying about whether their sons have met their future brides already, but I really like that you're getting the groundwork in early.

    And SUCH a good idea. No one told me about Living With Boys. I really wish they had - it would've made it SO much easier - just to have known to lower my expectations so far! Could've saved so much stress.

    Well done to you for this.

  3. The can of Lysol is just a start. They'll need Clorox wipes and rubber gloves. A lifetime supply, because no matter how old they are, they miss, at least a little.