Scrambled Not Fried

I’m aware of the fact that some of you were wondering what it is that I like to have for breakfast. So many fans have written to me that very question. Not really, because I’m sure you’re just a little intimidated by me. I get that a lot. Usually it is a granola bar…sad, but true. I do love the Fiber One bars from Betty Crocker (lots of plugs for her lately, aren’t there?)  The Chocolate Mocha are especially tasty…but ONLY if you like coffee or coffee flavor. Please do not write to me upset by my recommendation if you don’t like coffee. 

My 9yo was on a Fiber One bar kick for a while; actually the 90 Calorie Brownies, also by Miss Betty Crocker, …not that he needs to watch those calories, but he just liked them. I can’t say I blame him. That is until he announced, at the grocery store no less, that he’d been having diarrhea every day. And several times per day. Oh whoops…maybe that’s a little TOO MUCH fiber in your little gut, buddy. Sorry about that. At least it’s not the other problem…but I did tell him he needed to back off on the high-fiber items. He’s actually completely stopped eating them…apparently now he’s gun shy. But I digress…

Today I made scrambled eggs. In the microwave. You are surely thinking to yourself, “How did she make scrambled eggs in the microwave?” Or maybe you’re not. Or maybe you’re thinking, “Why is she always talking about food…it’s either that, her children, her dumb dog, or some random thing she thought of and felt so compelled to write it down.”

To which I reply, “I write about that which I know.” These things are the extent of my knowledge. I never claimed to be high-brow or intellectual by any means. If you’re new to the blog, this a sample of the offerings to which you can look forward. Better get out now while you’re ahead.

OK…scrambled eggs. (Clearly they don’t help with focus as they are touted to do.)  Made in the microwave. For one person only. I do not recommend this method if, say, your children or husband would like scrambled eggs as well. Just suck it up and get out the skillet. Much less waste. And less time, frankly.

Maybe “scrambled eggs in the microwave” is not news to you; and if that is the case, pull the rip cord on this post now. But for those of you who may be interested, consider this your PSA.

I found an article in a magazine…I say article…it’s a blurb actually, not even half a page, in a box with a photo. OK…not even remotely close to an article. Scratch that. Anyway…it told how to make two scrambled eggs in the microwave “easy-breezey, lemon-squeezy”. Now, it didn’t say that but it was...at least the writer made it SOUND like it was.

“Microwave Coffee Cup Scramble” (You had me at “microwave.”)

Prep Time: 1 minute

Cook Time: 45-60 seconds…it’s really more than that; 45 seconds plus approx 40 seconds more. Just had to mention that, in case that extra few seconds was going to make or break your time schedule in the morning.

Makes: 1 serving

What You Need:

• 2 eggs
• 2 Tbsp milk
• 2 Tbsp shredded cheese
• Salt & pepper to taste

Here’s How:

1. Coat 12 oz microwave-safe coffee mug with cooking spray (See, they didn’t list the cooking spray in the “what you need section” so beware…you do need that spray, or that egg sticks like nobody’s business to that mug. Experience talking.) And also, I use a measuring cup…sure it’s not as cute as the thought of eating eggs out of a mug, but realistically who’s going to do that anyway. I’ve tried them both, and the measuring cup (2 cup ones), work much better, plus they don’t get so hot. And, there’s nothing classier than eating scrambled eggs right out of a measuring cup. Trust me…I’ve lived on that edge.
2. Add eggs and milk; beat until blended.
3. Microwave on high for 45 seconds; stir. (NOTE: put that fork or spoon or whatever utensil you used in the step above &  just now in the dishwasher…it has raw egg on it. Gross. Sure, raw egg is fine in my raw cookie dough, but the last thing I want raw egg to touch is my cooked egg. Totally serious. They didn’t tell you that but I am. You’re welcome.)
4. Microwave on high 30-40 additional seconds, until eggs are almost set. This is the tricky business. I discovered the hard way that mine takes an additional 40 seconds only. Even 41 is too much. Egg splattered all over the microwave does not allow for any time savings you would have had by not dragging out the skillet. And I don’t know what wattage my microwave is…but I do know that it is cute and red and I bought it at Target. Is that helpful?
5. Top with cheese; season to taste with salt and pepper.

See, I could have made a one-page article out of it. Why didn’t they ask me to write it? They should have. Perhaps they don’t know about me yet.  I need to get a new agent, clearly.