Landscaping Theater Act II

On Monday, we were all on the landscaping stage, checking several trees with the “scratch test” to see if they were actually still alive, even though they appear to be dead as doorposts. Fortunately they all appear to have survived 3 years of drought, even though their leaves are (and have been for weeks) all brown. We’ll be eagerly anticipating the spring to discern if they have, in fact, made it through.

Note the tree on the left...dead right? We don't think so...we'll see in the spring!

 Tuesday the theater was closed due to soccer practice and a football game (the Ducks pulled out a win, BTW).

Wednesday and Thursday…only my husband and the 9yo performed; they pulled out three wisteria plants (actually cut them off at ground level…they had monstrous roots and there was no way those were getting dug out. It broke our hearts to see those plants go but they were too close to the foundation and we were concerned that they would damage it if we allowed them to get any bigger. Meanwhile, the 11yo and I were lounging at the soccer fields. Remember: we tend to work best on projects when we don’t work on them together!

This is what 10.5 tons of river rock looks like

Also on Thursday, the 10.5 tons of river rock (I say “river rock” but it’s not exactly…but it’s close enough and frankly I doubt that the plants, or anyone else, will notice) were delivered; the pile oozes out into the street. Fortunately my husband is in road construction so he brought home one of those plastic orange barrels to place in front of it. Apparently it’s to signify some really great work is about to happen; either that or we’re about to have a rodeo in our yard (that’s what I always think of when I see those lovely things on the roads).

Let me just repeat that: 10.5 TONS of rock. Yes, it sounds like a lot. And believe me, it’s no small pile of stone. But the first thing I said to my husband when he came in the house after assessing the pile was, “Do you think that’s enough? I don’t think that’s enough!”

This is after some of the work had begun; one wisteria was still standing at that point.
Please don't look at the yard, which is a total train wreck. We can only work on one thing at a time!

Friday…everyone was on stage. All four of us at once. Together our work was as such: raked residual mulch out of the beds and took it to the walking path behind our house, dug up and sorted lilies and iris, and planted some new purchases. Keeping in mind how well the husband and I perform together on this stage, you can only imagine how well all four of us were in sharing this spotlight.

More than once I had to walk away and work on the other side of the house. The good news is, well, probably not really GOOD news…is that my boys couldn’t work well with one another either; good news in that it’s not just the parents who are dysfunctional in their work; the kids are afflicted as well. Awesome parenting going on here.

One boy was raking mulch and the other was shoveling it into the wheelbarrow. The raker was working much more fastidiously than the shoveler, so the shoveler fell way behind. Then there was arguing about that – who had what role. Mind you…neither my husband nor I assigned roles. The boys decided on them, and then one of them was unhappy with the decision. I’ll just tell you, because if you know my boys at all, you probably had already figured it out. The 9yo was angry about shoveling so he started flinging mulch instead of paying attention to what he was doing (I know, he’s 9 but a mom can dream, can’t she?)…which meant that half (and it’s generous to say “half”)of it was making it INTO the wheelbarrow and the other half was in piles in the yard.

Unfortunately I came to check on them about that time in order to break up the arguing; I saw the mulch in the grass and kind of started yelling. So now three of us are in the yard yelling, at which point my husband joined the melee. Oh yeah. Quality work on our stage, wasn’t it?

I quickly exited the stage and retreated to the other side of the yard. My husband barked some additional orders to the boys and they set to work again, even picking up the mulch in the grass. Hey – whatever works.

You know how your mind can wander when you’re doing mindless sort of work. As I dug up lilies, I kept thinking about my work at the nursery when I was in college. I did a little landscape work for them but it was mostly about selling product and answering customer questions. But one of the things I kind of grew to love was driving the Bobcat. It wasn’t until the second year there that Karen, the manager (and daughter of the owners) approached me about it; she politely, but firmly, informed me that I would be learning to drive the Bobcat. Meaning that I would be loading mulch and stone into customer’s vehicles.

I thought, “There is NO WAY on God’s green earth that I will do that. Surely I will hit a car.”

And yet, I had no choice. Someone who knew how to drive the tractor needed to be there the entire time the store was open, but Karen (who usually ran it) wanted to be able to take some time off (the nerve of her!). Karen started my training with the mulch; it was the largest pile of bulk product we sold and easiest to get the scoop in. And I began my loading practice on the truck of Big Ed; feel free to conjure up in your mind what someone named Big Ed might look like and you’ve probably hit the nail on the head. Nice man but a little crazy. He was the contractor who delivered our mulch. His truck was already a little worse for wear, so if I hit it with the bucket it wasn’t really going to be a travesty…or be noticed, for that matter.

Once I got the hang of it, Karen let me try on the customers…but I always warned them I was new.  “Have no high expectations of me, please. I’m a rookie!” I didn’t really use those words…at least I don’t think I did…but that is the essence of what I was saying. If you know me at all, the fact that I apologized should not be shocking to you.

Eventually I stopped the apologizing and just went about my job. I soon was able to take delight in the looks on faces when people saw that I was the one driving the Bobcat. And I got lots of compliments too…not because I was that terrific, I’m certain, but because I think they all thought I was younger than I looked (just like now, right?).

It was truly one of the scariest things I have ever learned how to do…mostly because even though I did it hundreds of times, I was always a little terrified of hitting someone’s car with the bucket. Fortunately that never happened. The other scary part was the fact that the Bobcat was prone to rolling; I also never rolled it, thank you very much (insert proud back-patting here).

Today on our stage we are borrowing a Georgia Buggy to help with moving the stone. Did I mention that it’s 10.5 tons? Yes, not a huge pile but that’s a lot of weight. As my friend PA has pointed out more than once, “Rocks are heavy.” She’s quite the wordsmith, that one.  I have no idea how to operate a Georgia Buggy but now am kind of excited at the prospect. I will have something else to add to my resume.

A stock photo of a Georgia Buggy...looks like fun, doesn't it?

And scene…