So I need you to know before I continue that this is not me breaking up with you. It is me needing some time and space away from you to figure some stuff out.
I have to be honest, when we first got together, it was lovely and glorious and everyone was happy.
Well, I know that I was. And I assumed you were, because you’ve stuck with me thus far. But you know what assuming can get you.
But now this whole thing feels like work. And yes, relationships can be (and any relationship worth anything IS) work.
And I am not opposed to work. You can ask the PBA about that. I am in no way opposed to making them work.
And I am not personally opposed to work either. So much so that Mr. Always Random has, on occasion, accused me of not being able to relax.
I can relax. For instance, when I began the blog, it was relaxing to write. And it was enjoyable. And fun.
And don’t get me wrong…I still love the writing. But I find, as of late, that it is not relaxing. Or all that fun. I find it stressful to come up with topics. And I have self-imposed pressure to post more.
And the very worst part of my inner angst: I am doing the writing just for the “accolades”.
Trust me. I use the term “accolades” loosely. I am fully-aware that it only amounts to a comment here or there. Which is fine. I am not complaining. It only sounds like I am.
OK, maybe I am complaining a bit. When you value “words of affirmation” as I do, it’s difficult not to get them. But I do know in my heart that it is truly ok.
To be honest, I have the same issue with FB (from which I am also taking a “posting break”…on my blog page especially). I don’t post on there much but I feel as though I have become too focused on “likes” and not about producing “good writing”.
Notice my use of “good”. Clearly I need to hone my skills a bit; may I suggest beginning in the adjective department?
Anywho…I still love the writing, and while I can be random with the best of them (clearly sticking to the theme of the blog…yeah me for being consistent!)…I need to take some time off from this relationship.
That being said, I am not doing a “Lenten Fast” as it may seem.
I very-well I might be back before Easter.
Or it might be sometime AFTER Easter.
Let’s be honest…it could be next week.
Or it may be never. I just don’t know. I make no promises.
As I said on my blog…please don’t cry as I am a sympathy crier and my heart can’t take the tears.
Thanks for your patience with me!