Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Healing Neen

This will not be one of the best displays of my writing. I'm really not focusing on that at the moment.

Nor is it funny in the slightest.

A bit of a departure from my usually posts.

So if you are not up for it, I completely understand; pull the rip cord now.

Frankly, I am struggling with my words right now, even though words cannot truly express all that I heard and saw in our two consecutive days (approximately 18 total hours) of Foster Care training.

I know that saying "words cannot express..." sounds cliche and I apologize for that. Sometimes I do not mind a cliche, and even go for the cliche...but today is not one of them.

I am trying to go on with my life (because I have to) but my heart is hurting for all those children in the world...those children in THIS COUNTRY...who have crappy parents.

I don't know how else to say it: they have CRAPPY parents.

And right now my heart wants to help them all...but I know I can't.

If we can make a difference in the life of even one child, it will be worth all the time and trouble and effort to get to this point.

But I still want to help them all.

And even though I can't put it all in words, I do have something which may give you a glimpse.

In our class, we watched the video below. It doesn't have to do with Foster Care really at all, but it does demonstrate the cyclical nature of abuse, addiction and all those things we don't like to talk about.

How abuse of a child affects the adult whom that child becomes. It seems so logical, and yet people still abuse their children.

How does that happen? How does that start?

I still don't understand.

A few warnings before you begin: It is a long video...about 50 minutes. It sometimes is graphic in content and in language (so if little pitchers are nearby, I would suggest waiting to watch).

But if you watch the whole thing, I believe it will totally be worth your time and trouble. It demonstrates how a determined person can turn her life around.

And not only that, how she is helping others caught in the cycle of abuse.

Uplifting and a downer all rolled into one.

And I have to include the link...not the embedded video. It is on vimeo and Blogger won't let me upload it...even if I download it first.

(I don't know...maybe it will and I am simply too technologically inept to figure it out...but if you go to vimeo, you can either watch it through the website or download it for yourself.)

If you would be so kind below, I'd love for you to share your thoughts.

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  1. I'll watch another time - I need not to think about that kind of thing atm, but well done you for posting about it.

    I have an upcoming post elsewhere which addresses some of this kind of thing. Can't have it chez moi though.

    And as for wanting to look after kids whose parents are crappy, your heart and mine are in alignment.

    But I don't know if I could give them back if I knew abuse was likely to reoccur(I don't know if that happens in the US system, but it does here)

    1. And that's exactly why I included the disclaimer...I knew it would not be a video for everyone.

      Yes, the American system is flawed in many ways...I figure all I can do is love them & pray for them while I have them, and love them (from a distance) and pray for them when I don't. I haven't had to do that yet, but I suspect part of me will die if/when I do. Definitely not the part I am looking forward to.

  2. I haven't watched, but I will comment. I remember feeling that "I need to save the world" feeling that you describe, when we were becoming licensed. Just this morning, I read about how the number of licensed foster care parents in our county has decreased dramatically in the past 5 years. Although I know we have contributed positively in the lives of children, and being licensed foster-care parents isn't our path now, there is still that feeling of so much need. At times when I feel overwhelmed and small that I can't do more, I try to remember a scripture, given after a sermon about helping others, which says: "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength." I can't do everything, but I can do what I can.

    1. Yes, Kristi...that is exactly right. I know I have not been equipped to save them all, I do not have the strength for that...but I will do what God has called me to do.

      I don't know how long we'll be foster parents...my heart may be so broken after we send the first ones back that I may never want to do it again. God will show us His plans, though, and we will just try to be obedient to Him.

  3. I'm about halfway through it. Going around our day-to-day lives, it's hard to believe that these things are happening right down the street from us. All we can do is do what we can. Sometimes it's simply praying. Sometimes it's becoming foster parents. My husband's aunt and uncle fostered close to 50 kids over the years. It wasn't an easy calling, for sure, but they are glad they did it. I'll be praying for your family.

    1. Absolutely sometimes it is simply praying...though I wouldn't use "simply" to describe prayer. I know what you mean...it is a potentially less-emotionally invested act, but even still not necessarily non-emotional. It, in an of itself, can be very emotional.

      I don't claim it will be easy road. I am emotional just considering it...that it's "real" now...just waiting for the kiddo or kiddos who will be part of our family for a season (or more).

      Thank you so much for the prayers...I knew you would be. :)