Friday, August 23, 2013

Cutting Remarks

So…in case you were unaware, I cut the PBA’s hair. I have done this since they were about 2 and 4 years old, respectively. That means it’s been for a while now….and yet, I will freely admit that it sometimes comes out better than others.

I don’t always know the reason. 
  • Maybe the hair is not as clean as it should be.
  • Or maybe I am in a rush.
  • Or the clippers need to be serviced…or replaced (both of which have happened…it’s really not fun when the clippers get stuck in your child’s hair, especially if you are the one holding said clippers. It’s only happened to me once, thankfully. And yet he still lets me cut his hair...but does he truly have a choice?)
  • Or perhaps…the child moved suddenly and ended up with a bit of a “gouge” or “chunk” (take your pick on the word that give you the best visual…I do not have pictures of my children to illustrate my point, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about…and if you don’t, you can find one online for your examination) out of an area of hair which they would have preferred there not be a gouge or chunk.
I’m going to pause here…what kind of shoddy writing is this? Where WOULD there be an area on their heads which they would prefer there was a gouge or chunk missing? Someone call me on these things, please!


The reason for their sudden movements is typically one of two things:
  1. Freshly-cut hair has fallen onto a part of their body which caused them to flinch as though a bug had landed on them. Or the hair was tickling them. Or making them itch. I have heard all of these…and more.
  2. Or I inadvertently stepped in front of the television. Which is bound to happen. I set up my “shop” in the middle of the living room, spreading out a large sheet on the floor, putting a barstool in the middle, and the “client” saddles up…though I must say that the 12yo is almost too old for the barstool.

Actually as I think about it, the 10yo is too. Better consider other plans in the near future. But I digress.

So yes…they get their hair cut in the middle of the living room. How white trash are? Apparently very.

Anyway, it began as a way to keep them still, but even after all this time, they still watch TV during their cut.  And if I step in front of the TV, they often will jerk their head to one side, seeking out an unobstructed view.

I have learned to keep the clippers far away from their heads if I know I’m going to block their TV viewing. I'm a quick study.

One thing I must say that has changed about the haircutting process is that the 10yo now doesn’t want me to put a towel or anything around him to keep the hair at bay. He typically takes his shirt off before the procedure begins, and then hops in the shower afterwards to shed the thin film of hair.

This time, however, as soon as he had finished with his haircut, he decided to take off everything…including his skivvies…before retreating to the privacy of the bathroom.

My 12yo was sitting in the living room at the time, his torture (I mean haircut…why would I say that? torture…) already complete.

12yo (to the 10yo, which goes without saying, but I am saying it nonetheless): Don’t strip in front of the TV!

Me: Actually, I don’t think the TV even noticed.

12yo: No, I meant that I’m watching TV and he’s standing there in front of it!

Me: OK, but I still don’t think the TV even noticed that he stripped in front of it.

12yo: (eyeroll)

Is this the kind of thing Scripture is talking about in Ephesians 6:4? Surely not…otherwise I may be in trouble.


  1. As long as your kids are stripping in front of the TV rather than ON it, I reckon you're doing just fine.

    And at least (with the gouges) they're BOYS and you can just give them a convict cut. When my Dad took a chunk out of the front-and-centre of my hair, there was no hiding grew back like antenna :/

  2. I used to cut my husband's and my son's hair completely against my will. Finally refused to do it any longer about two years ago. And we call that little missing chunk o' hair a divot.

  3. I have been cutting my Hub's hair for several years. I have taken the occasional chunk out of his hair. Not sure if that's why he started just shaving his head or not...