Lessons from Vacation

I promise (and promises were made to be broken so don’t hold your breath or anything here) that this will be the last post in which I throw myself whole-heartedly into vacation.

I have been back for a week and I should probably give myself back over to a “real life”.

All this rambling to say, I wanted to share with you a few of the little nuggets I gleaned from the trip.

Some are totally new insights, and will serve me well at a later date.

Some of these are simply reminders of things I had already been taught but had maybe forgotten.

And some of them are merely reinforcements of that which I knew and HAD NOT forgotten.

And then there are the few things which I did not know, nor did I need to know…they do not, in any way, shape, or form, contribute or benefit my existence. And yet I now know them.

And now you.will.too.

But before I begin, I must mention that there are a few things…and I assure you that I limited myself to a few…there MANY more I could, and maybe should, include…but I am not.

Try not to cry yourself to sleep or anything. I have plenty of mindless, worthless information to dispense…plenty for ALL.

You’ll see.

In fact, you may not even need to cry yourself to sleep because I may bore you to sleep with this post.

Of course I hope not…but it is always a possibility.

I realize I’m not as engaging to the reader as I am to myself.

Some people call it “narcissism”…I simply call it “playing to the true fans”.

I’m certain I have piqued your attention so I shall get on with it; I give to you, in no particular order and without any rhyme or reason: the things I learned/was reminded of/could do without ever knowing from vacation.

1. Listening to PBA playing a game in the backseat I have some insight into how I sound via my 12yo’s comments to his brother: “Um it would be helpful if you'd notice that the cards are sliding everywhere.”
2. When the person with the remote start key fob gets out of a running car, the alarm emitted by the car sounds like a child repeatedly hitting the same note on a Casio keyboard.
3. DQ is basically the same everywhere…just more expensive. This was a happy surprise, as dinner on one of the nights in which we partook of DQ (yes, there was more than one…don’t judge) left something to be desire.
4. Which brings me to the next learning point: just because the deck of a restaurant right in the heart of town is crowded every night, do not presume that the food is good…the place might just have a good location, great mixed drink specials, or a combination thereof.
5. I truly only need to do 3 (maybe 4) loads of laundry in the course of 2 weeks, because boys don’t mind wearing dirty clothes as much as one might hope they would.
6. One disposable razor is not enough to shave my legs every day for 2 weeks.
7. Hotel fitness rooms are not crowded…in either the morning or the evening. And anyone who IS in there, is C.R.A.Z.Y. skinny. Except for me…I am probably in there but I am not C.R.A.Z.Y. skinny…or skinny at all; I am simply C.R.A.Z.Y.
8. A van traveling at a high rate of speed can stop quickly when a deer unexpectedly runs out in front of the van from the steep side of a mountain.
9. When going hiking, if a trail is clearly a horse trail at beginning, it's probably a horse trail the whole way through. While you might not see much of the glorious scenery surrounding you, you will become quite adept at dodging horse poo, as well as announcing it to those around you.
10. Most people don't understand trail etiquette…it’s just like driving, people: stay to the right. If the trail is only wide enough to accommodate two people, and you are walking two across, but you are approaching people walking in the opposite direction, then ONE of you needs to either move ahead or fall back so both parties can easily pass one another; do not expect the oncoming party to step completely off the path so you can continue, unencumbered. That’s rude. In any language.
11. Lots of people can't read ...pack out your trash instead of throwing it on the path or in the water, and stay on path provided for you…do not attempt to create your own. There MAY be a reason why you need to stay on the path that does not involve people simply trying to be controlling.
12. A trail marked as an “Easy” trail in the Tetons is different than one marked “Easy” in Indiana…and you should probably adjust your lungs accordingly.
13. When your 12yo orders a Kobe beef sandwich for lunch, or selects an outfit at Eddie Bauer without regard to the price tags, you just might have a child with expensive taste buds. (Side note: I hope he will some day have a checkbook to keep up with his high-end taste…and to support his parents as well. I'm nothing if not optomistic.)
14. Not every family we encountered appeared to be having as much fun as we did.
15. The Hampton Inn gets you addicted to their mid-afternoon “free” cookie fix.
16. Between the water in the hotels out west and the constant wind outside, the conditions we endured were not conducive to good hair days. As I became fond of saying, “I look like I’ve spent some time on the prairie.”

As you read this, please picture Stands with a Fist from "Dances with Wolves"...you know who I mean...the woman who was adopted by the Native American tribe, who Kevin Costner's character ends up marrying...remember her hair? Oh yes...now you've got the picture.

I'm sure that I was able to share something to help improve your quality of life...and now you are even MORE thankful for my trip.

You are welcome....that's the kind of writer I am. Giving. Self-sacrificing. All in the name of lessons learned.

Have a fabulous day!