No Translation Needed

If I ever text, call or message you and say something to the effect of, “Feel free to stop by the store on your way here and pick up _____.”…what that really means is “Stop by the store on your way here and pick up _____.” 

The “feel free to” part is mostly just to make it seem as though it is your idea. Though we both know it’s not.

I’m a little passive aggressive like that.

But, it is doubtful that I will ever do that to you…unless you are Mr. Always Random and reading this post. I will contact you with a message such as this, won't I, Sweetie?

I promise you that the _____ I am asking/telling you to pick up is going to be something we will both like: ice cream, donuts, pizza…I could go on, but I’m certain that you get the point.

You’re quick like that.

The children may not like it, but I am not planning to share it with them.

Not PLANNING on it, but probably will have to share. They have noses like bloodhounds. And they are really good eaters too. Especially when it comes to nutritious food such as pizza or dessert containing chocolate.

Chocolate is good for your heart, BTW. 

So is red wine.

I’m just sayin’.

I won’t give the wine to the children. They have their own whine. (That’s funny, no?  See what I did there? Yes, I laughed out loud at myself.)

Personally, I’m thankful that when I text Mr. Always Random (which I will admit that I have done on more than one occasion…I used to have to CALL, but now with the texting I just go that route. So much easier) and say, “Feel free to stop by the store on your way here and pick up a large bucket o’ ice cream.”  And he understands that he’d best not come home without the ice cream.

No translation needed.

He’s a good man, that one.

In my humble opinion, this picture is the funniest part of this post because if you know me at all, there's no way I'm spending what the stores are asking/demanding for a container of Blue Bell Ice Cream. I've never ever tried it (no throwing ice cream scoops at me!), but I'm more about quantity than quality when it comes to my at-home ice cream enjoyment; I'm a "gallon-and-a-half bucket for $5.99 from the Target" kind of gal. Don't judge. You can always add plenty of other goodies to said ice cream to doctor it up. And if those items are not listed on the calorie and fat content of the ice cream bucket, they must not count, right?