Friday, November 9, 2012


I am the first to admit that I sometimes enjoy a good commercial (That being said, this post may take you a while, as I have included many links to commercials, mostly ones for your viewing pleasure). 

It is usually the ones with a touch of humor or unexpectedness (I’m certain that’s a real word) that hook me. I will watch them every time if I think they’re worth the laugh; finding something to make you laugh is usually time well-spent, in my humble opinion.  Although it must not be too humble, because I spout off in this blog often enough, believing that someone actually cares.

My 9yo will rewind and replay a commercial over and over; he's even weirder than me about such things and he, himself, would admit that. At least I think he would. Kind of depends on his mood when you ask him.

He loves any commercial with the Packers or Aaron Rodgers in it. We had seen this State Farm one, as well as this one and this one with BJ Raji on tv, but when I Googled them while writing this blog (for those of you who had not had the good fortune of seeing said commercials…I try to make sure my readership is up to speed on all that I am discussing), I discovered additional ones he had not seen, as well as other products Rodgers was peddling, I mean, promoting. (I’m no hater…I don’t blame him for jumping on the advertising bandwagon. He’s not going to be able to play football forever, and he’s got to make his money somehow.) Anyway, the 9yo happened to hear one playing during my research, so let me put it this way...he has seen them now. More than once.

There are some commercials which I will actually stop the DVR'd show so I can watch them; there are not many but a few. Here are some of my favorites over the years:  Volkswagon Dog, Volkswagon Darth Vader (Yes, I am a fan of the Volkswagon commercials; they hold for me some sense of relateability…I’m sure that’s a word too. I have a dumb dog and I have a child who loves all things Star Wars…relateability), and a couple oldies but goodies: Cowboys Herding Cats, and the first Monster commercial. Classics, all of them.

Let me just explain: in our house, we rarely, if ever, watch anything in real time anymore. There are just so many things we want to see but just not enough time in a day that we end up recording them all to watch later. We can condense 30 minute shows to 20 minutes or 60 minute ones to 40-45. It’s really all about time management. My life runs on a clock and I don’t have time to sit around and watch a bunch of commercials for products which I don’t need. Unless they entertain me, as already stated.

Really, it’s all about the fact that we probably watch too much television and need to cut back if we’re having to creatively discern how to get it all in. But I digress.

All this rambling to say: the majority of our programming is watched through the DVR so I rarely have to even watch commercials. I could virtually be commercial free all the time. Most of the time. I have to watch things in real time when I'm on the treadmill at the gym; they don’t give me a DVR option.

And because of this, there are some commercials I have had the opportunity to experience which I wish I had never seen and would be ok with never seeing again. The current Ghirardelli commercial…the one with the super skinny lady at her office.  Now the blog title makes sense, doesn’t it? Go here if you don't know the one to which I'm referring…but prepare yourself for the fact that the annoying song gets stuck in your head until you want to jam something in your ear to make it stop. Otherwise…enjoy the experience! And she’s only eating ONE piece of candy. Ok that's realistic…

So, just to recap – she’s a super-skinny chick (yes, I’ve suddenly down-graded her to a chick…and believe me it’s the jealousy talking) who apparently has the self-control to only eat one piece of this candy as a “pick-me-up” of sorts in the middle of the afternoon. That’s reason right there to hate her and I haven’t even met her. But I’m pretty sure I hate her…at least this role she’s playing I hate. But she is really thin too. Yeah, I probably hate her.

If it were me in the commercial, I’d make them shoot it over and over again until I’d had my fill of the candy, and then make sure I nailed it on the final take. This would definitively require multiple serving of said candy. Maybe that’s just me.  Do I have a problem?

Speaking of serving size, for the record the serving size ranges from 3-4 squares, not one. (Just to let you know, a serving size is 3 if you have the ones with the yummy filling and 4 if you have the ones without…yeah, I took the time to research this….I’m not just all about the fluff, ladies and gentlemen; this is hard-hitting, investigative, journalistic endeavors right here. That journalism degree is paying off, Mom & Dad! Aren’t you so proud?)

The mere insinuation that someone would only eat one square…that is sheer madness. On a side note, Madness sings one of my all-time favorite songs from the 80’s…can you guess which one? Too late, I’m going to tell you. It was, ironically enough, in a commercial for Eckrich from the 1980’s, by a “cover band” of sorts. Can I just pause right here and tell you how mortified I am that 1) I remembered that commercial being on and 2) I had no idea that it was as long ago as the 80’s. I must have been a fetus when it was on and it somehow seeped into my subconscious.

Clearly my relationship with commercials goes back further than my disdain with this Ghirardelli commercial.  Those “Cotton” commercials “The touch, the feel of cotton…the fabric of our lives.” Sung by Aaron Neville. Got me every time. Who cries at commercials? This gal. BTW that song may be stuck in your head now.

And we’re back: the fat content in those Ghirardelli squares ranges from 12-13 g/per serving and range in calories from 190-220 per serving (once again depending on type). So of course the fat and calories are enough to first of all make you not want to look at such things, and second of all at least give you pause before you eat all the pieces in a serving.
So now that we've all seen the commercial and I’ve discussed it (and a myriad of other things to boot), can we all agree that it is one of the dumbest ones currently watchable (meaning…currently being aired on tv…not that you’d actually WANT to watch)?

I say we protest by boycotting Ghirardelli. Wait, that’s crazy talk right there. Let’s just turn the channel when that commercial comes on.


  1. Good heavens, the blog name certainly fits for this post. I love it when you get all distracted and head of on Squirrel! I so enjoy humorous commercials. And since we don't have DVR capabilities, I get to watch all commercials. 'Cause I have plenty of time. Ugh.

    1. Are you saying I had focus issues while writing this?!? Shocking.